remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
