My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
