I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
