dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
