I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
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