He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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