i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
