Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Randomize