Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Randomize
