I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize
