Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
