So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
