bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
The Olympian is in my bed
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