if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
