i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
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