I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
