The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
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