Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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