so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
