that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
