theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
