Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
