DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
