Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Randomize
