I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
the gays at disneyland are vicious
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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