pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Randomize
