I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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