totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
