so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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