woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
