I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
