Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
