Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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