I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
