dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
