Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
