so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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