I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I feel like abortions should bother me more
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
