Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
