eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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