man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
