I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Someone came in the potted fern
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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