im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
