i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
