Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Are my feet made of real feet?
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
