Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
