you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
