Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
