there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
worst night to have a conscience
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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