bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
