Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Randomize
