I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize