I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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