her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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