Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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