she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize