y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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