You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Randomize
