so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
