Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
