its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
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