Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Randomize
