My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
