i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
