Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
