So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
